This is it.. finally...

Watched the Michael Jackson throughout its entirety while sitting in front of the laptop on Facebook and Twitter and communicated my grief with other fans of Michael Jackson from midnight to past 4am just now.

It was a wondrously moving event, and definitely a memorial fit for a king! No less the King of Pop!

When it started and they carried the coffin in, I just broke down in front of the TV and cried. This was a man, who made me believe in all things magical and beautiful about music, and the power of it.

Memang sedih, especially with the backing of the Andrae Crouch Choir with Soon and Very Soon. I don't know. Suddenly it hit home, that the real life Peter Pan... was gone.

It was also touching to see the Jackson brothers who also served as pallbearers, carrying in the coffin, with one single white sequined glove on each. Michael would have smiled at that.

And when Mariah Carey came on all choked up, emotionally perhaps, though revealing too much cleavage for a memorial for her own good, it just brought on more tears as she dueted with Trey Lorenz on I'll Be There.



Honestly, I was appreciating every moment of the memorial up to this point. Then Lionel Ritchie came on with a beautiful rendition of Jesus Is Love. This brought on the wave of idiots.

Beginning with one of my friends' Facebook comments from someone stupid in their list of friends. Malas aku nak komen mana la, but this person posted, "I'm hurt watchin his funeral now..how could they???", which was an obvious reference to the song having religious connotations.

I just blew up.

Do you know what a memorial is? It's an event that serves as a remembrance of a person passed on. It's to celebrate the life of the person, to engage those memories of when they were alive, and accept it as a closure to their passing. Too many big words? Then turn off your f*cking TV or computer if you're watching online. What the...

Bodoh gila! Do your homework, b*tch!

Yes, we all know that he reportedly changed his name to Mikaeel after he converted.

But here's the thing. The Jackson family, like Michael throughout his life, has been very quiet about Michael's religious inclinations, and have not revealed what religious aspects from what religion or religions might be incorporated into either his private or public memorials.

So it is up to them. You don't f*cking know him, b*tch, and you're not f*cking family! So shut the f*ck up. It's a memorial. We're celebrating his life! Not b*tch about what songs are chosen to be sung. Apalah.... benda macam ni pon ada nak feeling nak debat bagai.

Panas betol. As a Michael Jackson fan, I disregard whatever religious connotations with the memorial, and aku tanak bincang pasal agama. I just want to remember a man who has been pivotal in music for the last five decades unlike anyone else.

So bodoh gila! If you're not a fan, don't watch just because the world is watching. Michael, preached about healing the world, and how we are the world. Not b*tch about my f*cking memorial because it didn't suit you.

Tenang sikit hati aku when Stevie Wonder performed Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer. By the time Jennifer Hudson came on with Will You Be There, aku da sebak balik da. It's an emotional rollercoaster watching this, knowing that finally Michael won't be hurt by anymore scrutiny of his life that no one understood.

John Mayer, did an instrumental Human Nature backed by the choir, followed by brother Jermaine Jackson with Smile, what Brooke Shields said was his favourite song.

The song was from the Charlie Chaplin film Modern Times, written as an instrumental by Chaplin himself in 1936, but Michael recorded a version of it on his 1995 album HIStory. For those interested, the song has also been covered before by Elvis Costello, Michael Bolton, Nat King Cole, Michael Bublé, Barbara Streisand and Josh Groban.

The lyrics were beautiful, and Jermaine did a version like Michael's which brought on more tears.

"That’s the time you must keep on trying. Smile, what’s the use of crying? You find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.”

Menyayat hati sungguh.



Then came Usher's Gone Too Soon. When he walked down and touched the coffin... mmm... I don't know. The tears came again.



By this time, I was having another argument on Facebook. A 'friend' had changed her Facebook status to "thinks they're just overdoing the speeches at MJ memorial - yes, he's a great entertainer but he's not God.." I think this person just stayed up too late past her bedtime. No one mentioned him about being God. People were remembering the good things about him - which is like du-uh... what you do at a memorial.

Seriously so many people ignorant of what a memorial is. Argh!!! Ignorance is bliss - and stupidity is contagious.

She was reacting to Sheila Jackson Lee's speech. I personally liked it. She was eloquent (Sheila, not my ranting pissy friend). She stood up for Michael who no longer can defend himself. In retort to white supremacy, racist redneck Peter King's comments on Michael and how he was undeserving of such media attention over his death (still a WTF moment), Sheila said this.

"I can tell you as a member of the United States Congress, we understand law, and we know that people are innocent until proven otherwise, that is what the Constitution stands for."

Thank you Sheila. And thank you everyone who shared their memories of Michael who made us all feel just a little closer to him. Thank you Queen Latifah, Berry Gordy, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, Brooke Shields, , the children of Martin Luther King and Kenny Ortega.

Reverend Al Sharpton came out with one of the best quotes of the night while addressing Michael's children. "Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with."

I cooled down again when Shaheen Jafargholi came on with Who's Loving You. No one in America apparently has heard of the 12 year-old who came out seventh in Britain's Got Talent and apparently many were unaware that he was invited to perform because the boy was scheduled to be featured to perform with Michael in London.

Korang tengok persembahan dia. Damn.. this boy really has soul. By the way, He sang the same song during his audition of the talent show.



The finale was a group performance of everyone, led by Michael's backing singers singing We Are the World and Heal the World. More tears from me for sure. Kenny Ortega mentioned that the two songs, and how they were presented were intact as they were to be performed for the London This Is It show.



But the most moving moment, that made me break down, was the final word that night from a family member. Jermaine spoke, and after that was Marlon Jackson's moving speech on his brother, and how he asked Michael for a favour to hug his twin Brandon (who was a stillborn). Janet was supposed to speak next. but she seemed to think the spotlight deserved to at least one of the three who were supposed to speak up for Michael best.

And so, Paris Michael Katherine Jackson spoke. For the first time.



Sheltered like her brothers from the public eye all this while, this was the first time we got to hear at least one of Michael's children speak. She painfully shared only a few words. But everyone of them counted as she choked back tears before finally falling into Janet's arms.

She said this.

"I just want to say... ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him. So much!"

It just made me cry out.

People see Michael as a freak. A monster. A weirdo.

You can disregard the beauty of how much love he brought through his music. You can ignore the fact he inspired many generations, and more to come with his music and moves. You can disregard the barriers of race and religion he broke through with his success.

A lot have forgotten he was someone's son, brother... and yes, even loving father. You believe what you want to.

Michael is in a better place, and we the fans, got the closure we needed. As Marlon put it. Maybe now they'll leave you alone. We love you Michael. So much. Michael inspired us to come together. And now... it's as if the hope has died. But it lives... in his music. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that.

Need to rest now. Apart from the fact I have now gone 24 hours without sleep... am just so emotionally exhausted from this. It's a sad, sad time.