Reality

Today I managed to smile a little. Yerlah...ramai sangat mintak aku teruskan blogging. And I am sorry to everyone sebab melayan perasaan sangat. Dah aku camtuh... terima lah seadanya.

Anyway, without going back to my depression, I am trying my best nak understand why the world is occasionally shitty. Thanks pada anonymous message yang mintak aku ingat pada nenek kat Jakarta tu... and how her strength could be mine in times like this. That really got me.

See how easy we forget things...apapon, Mr ke Miss... thank you for your kind words of imspiration.

What really made me smile today was collecting the painting I commisioned from Megat for my sister's birthday coming up soon in a couple of weeks. Dia da siap some time back but was waiting for it to dry and all. So tadik, instead of nak bersedih pikir mungkin ada yang benci aku atas sebab sebab aku sendiri tak paham... aku cuba lupakan seketika. Sekali ngan colleague aku si Halim gi jumpa si Megat and Ray kat Shah Alam. The painting was just... awesome!
What do you guys think?

I think it's fabulous! It's a gorgeous piece of art, oils on canvas. Thank you Megat for making me smile today sebab I get to give my sister a fabulous gift. Walaupon berminggu sebelom my sis punya birthday, I headed to our house in Bangsar. Dia balik shortly and she loved it!

I'm so glad I could make her happy. Sometimes, things like that make us happier than if people do something for us.

Why a wolf? Because my sister loves wolves and she has a lifelike, portrait-esque pic of one on her right shoulder blade. The symbolism of having something guard her back.

Yes, my sis is a tattoo freak like me. And I'm so glad I could give her a piece that was so special.

Kalao ko perasan, on top of the waterfall, Megat added two trees in the background. You can just make out the silhouette. He did that to symbolise the close relationship between me and my sis.

Isn't that sweet. Thanks a million Megat!!!

One more thing that made me smile, was something earlier in the day. Thanks to Amir, my former colleague yang call up and asked us to watch something on youtube, I had my first real laugh in days.

Please... I know some of you hate watching the youtube stuff I post here, but you MUST watch this clip!!! It's one of the funniest I've seen in a long time. Bukan je aku yang gelak... satu opis pecah perot!!!

So if you are depressed or just want to laugh... watch it!!! You MUST watch it!!! Kelakar nak mampos!!! It definitely made me feel a lot better. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.

Anyway, the rest of the night was weird. Initially I spent it waiting for that someone. Wanted so bad to explain things... tapi dia tak muncul. Sedih gak. Tapi nak wat camna. Mungkin dia tak dapat mesej aku... sangka baik lah tuh.

Tapi tak kisahlah. That time I spent made me think a lot about what happened and what may have gone wrong.

BTTB - please read my message... that's all I ask. Thanks, and aku takkan ganggu hidup ko lagik pasni. terpulang pada ko samaada kita masih kawan ke tidak selepas ini. The ball is in your court now.

It also made me realise how bad I've been treating As. Seperti aku da sebut before this, dia nih ada crush on me. Tapi aku jodohkan ngan kawan aku.

Semalam masa aku sedih amat... dia la yang mesej, call... paksa jumpa nak cheer me up. Didn't work sebab walaopon niat dia baik, aku asik bayangkan seseorang.

Tapi masa balik tuh, As hantar aku message berbunyi, "Abg,jgn sedeh2 taw...Ape2 msh adk..Abg tawkan adik syg kt abg...lg dri..."

Aduh...tersentuh nya hati aku. Walaopon aku anggap dia nak berkenalan ngan aku nak kacau kacau camtuh, rupanya dia selama ni paham aku terbayangkan seseorang, dan dia masih ada hati kat aku but simpan saja dalam hati.

As.... thanks so much. I am flattered, I promise to treat you better, tapi aku harap ko bahagia ngan dia ok. Anggap aku cuma abang kau. Aku sayang ko gak...

So moral of the story... yes... life sucks. You never get the happy ending like you see in the movies.

That's the reality. Still... life goes on...

Note : Am a little broke after spending on that painting, but worth every Sen, and I couldn't think of a better person to spend it on than my lovely sis. Happy birthday in advance gurl. Love you to bits.