Tired as all hell. Pagi tadik sejuk sangat. It had been raining the whole morning apparently.
Had a good late breakfast cum lunch, and then gerak in the jam to Mangga Dua for some speed shopping.
Didn't do much this time around. Time constraints, pas pala sibuk pikir something so... erm... lack of focus. Still... it was fun to be here back again after the last time being end of last year or something a few months ago.
Popped into a cab after shopping sebab Cliff, driver Om Mas (or was it Jovian's auntie's) pun kena gi elsewhere, and we zoomed to the airport in worry we wouldn't make it.
Arrive one hour and fifteen minutes before flight tme, which was still ok. Vern did some last minute shopping at the airport, before we bth buggered to find a bite to eat sebab kebuluran.
Stopped at this cafe for a bite. Masa tuh ler yang dapat satu SMS yang, erm... memang ngundang airmata kegembiraan.
Well, aku da bagitau dia aku akan balik Jakarta buat kali pertama with a smile on my face, and peace in my heart. And apparently, it was a feeling that was mutual.
Memang seronok kalao jumpa kasih yang da lama terpisah... walaupun sementara. Tambah lagi bila memasing da lebih memahami everything about each other.
Tapi the last message,,, memang bagi aku nitis airmata. Nak je aku stay another day at least.
But some things are good because they're meant to be unobtainable. Plus, as they say... it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved before.
In my case, I was lucky to meet someone yang sampai hari ni saling menyayangi ngan aku... cuma kami berjauhan and kami ditakdirkan be in two different spots on the map.
Better than some people yang aku nampak pining away, for the trappings of lust, that they so mistakenly think is love.
No matter what... I didn't lose. I won someone's heart... and that's what counts. Not having a trophy.
And maybe, just maybe, if fate allows it, we will be together in the future. Cuma.. not counting on that happening ler.
Berat nak tinggalkan Jakarta sebenarnya. Terlalu banyak kenangan yang indah aku tinggalkan kat sini.
Simple memories. Waiting in the cafe for my flight, aku masih leh terbayangkan, the first time kami jumpa di airport Soekarno Hatta... the first time I left and how it was so hard to come back to KL dan dipisahkan. The little things we did together like just a meal in Senayan. Oh well... all I know is I have a wealth of memores to fall back on.
No I'm not living in the past. It's just that, I think from this day, I will never need anyone ever again. Aku da mampu lalui kehidupan aku keseorangan. Sebab the pain of loneliness is no longer there. Not really.
Maybe dia takde sebelah aku selalu. Tapi.. I know.. aku slalu si satu sudut hatinya. I know...we both still love each other. And that's good enough for me.
Strange arrangement... tapi I can live with it. Who knows kalao aku jumpa someone in the future yang dapat ganti tempat dia. A few have tried... but until today, cinta aku untuknya masih teguh.
Mmm... dah ler...cukup aku meroyan. Apapon... seperti sebelom aku berlepas tuk ke Jakarta... remember my entry pasal mimpi? SIla check balik beberapa hari lalu punya posting...
Apa saja orang bilang, aku pasti... mimpi aku bukan lagi mimpi, tapi sudahpun jadi nyata. Aku cuma perlu bangun dan sadar, mimpi aku kini pasti.
In Jakarta, heard this old Anggun song, a new version of it. Fell in love with the new version. It's ironically called.. Mimpi.
Hope you guys like it as much as I do. Nak layan sat sambil ingatkan dia.
Mimpi - Anggun C Sasmi
Dalam hitam, gelap malam,
ku berdiri, melawan, sepi…
Disini, di pantai ini,
telah terkubur sejuta kenangan
Dihempas keras gelombang,
yang tertimbun batu karang,
yang tak 'kan mungkin, dapat terulang
Wajah putih, pucat pasi,
tergores, luka di hati
Matamu, membuka kisah,
kasih asmara yang telah ternoda
Hapuskan semua khayalan,
lenyapkan satu harapan
Kemana lagi, harus mencari
Kau sandarkan, sejenak beban diri
Kau taburkan, benih kasih, hanyalah emosi
[Reff:]
Melambung jauh, terbang tinggi, bersama mimpi
Terlelap dalam, lautan emosi
Setelah aku, sadar diri, kau t'lah jauh pergi
Tinggalkan mimpi, yang tiada bertepi
Kini hanya rasa rindu, merasuk di dada
Serasa sumpah melayang pergi,
terbawa arus kasih, membara
[Reff]
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