Farewell, my Princess

I know this tribute may be a little late in coming...but I had to do one especially.

In a time when I just found someone to spend my precious time with, I had to endure the sadness of losing someone special.

Yes, I used the term someone, not something, even though it's my pup Princess, because she is like a member of the family. She was the most loyal pet I've ever had.

Strike that out, she was more than a pet.

Apapun, on Ssaturday morning at about 6am, aku pulang ke rumah dengan seseorang (nanti aku ceritakan selebihnya in the next posting).

Balik, ayah aku was in the hall, with my two dogs, Mickey and Princess. Sempat ler si 'dia' tengok kecomelan kedua ekor, before we masuk tidur.

An hour later, time baru nak lelap...my dad knocked the door.

Now my parents know never to wake me up...because I'm incredibly grumpy punya kalao dikejutkan dari tidur.

Anyway, aku give up dan mengalah with the insistent knocking, aku pun bukak pintu and there was my dad yang cuma cakap, "Princess died."

I was like..you got to be joking.

Princess was lying sprawled, tempat sama dia dok masa aku pulang an hour earlier.

Her eyes were half open, she looked tired, and her fur was slightly messed up. Aku pet and stroked her, but she didn't get up. Aku rasa cam nak jerit je. What the...

My sister had found her as a stray about ten years ago. She's a pedigree...but then that's not the point.

We didn't know where she came from, but found on stormy night, we gave her a home, and she became part of the family.

And on one stormy morning, she just left.

My dad kata she'd been fighting sleep the whole night long, seolah she knew if she fell asleep takkan bangun. She kept trying to run under the bed to hide.

And before she passed on, she let out a soft whimper and moved on.

Even time dia meninggal pun dia tak nak menyusahkan orang. Kengkawan yang datang rumah tau ler my pup tuh camna.

She understands three languages, English, BM and Hokkien, and she does everything as told (for real)

Aku time sedih kekadang balik stress, ada masalah ke apa, she was my bundle of joy, my soft toy yang temankan aku when I stare blankly into the TV and meleleh airmata.This time, my tears are for her.

Dok nangis kejap. It's been a long time since I felt real tears like this. Hot and burning...

After a while, went in the room, bagitau sayang aku to sleep first and that I had to bury my Princess. Dia pun tak cakap apa-apa...cuma peluk aku and then minta aku uruskan apa yang patut.

In between choked tears, aku told my parents, she deserved a proper burial. And my dad lined a box with her favourite blankets, and then put in a crucifix, said a prayer and boxed her.

I started work in the backyard, to dig a hole, one worthy to be called a decent grave for my Princess.

My health sucks, and I kept runing out of breath and almost collapsed. Now I know how anger and sadness just pushes your physical limits to the point your body wants to explode. Two days later, my body is still aching.

To cut it short, we gave her a decent burial...buried her after cementing the top and sides to make sure the grave wouldn't be intruded by other critters, and then then piled it back with the earth, before weighing ir further down with more stones and such.

I refused to take any shots of her body before the burial...I know I would cry non-stop if I see those pictures. So aku amik masa nak bury her only.

It's so strange cause the little things that make my life worth living...slowly disappear one by one. And yet...my faith in life itself, is supposed to not wane.

Is it?

I don't know. All I know is, one friend I had who was there through thick and thin, a family member that was bound by an emotional bond, a voiceless companionship in moments of need...is no longer there and gone.

I miss you so much, girl.

This is for you my Princess...I miss you, girl...