This is perhaps... the end

I started this blog as my personal diary. Masa tu mungkin dalam 30 lebih orang je masuk dalam sehari, most of whom were friends who wanted to keep in touch with me, to find out what's new with me, apa yang berlaku dalam hidup aku dan sebagainya...

Unavoidably, my blog turned into a semi-Akademi Fantasia review site , kerana kerjaku, sememangnya Akademi Fantasia mengambil masa at least four months of my life, like a lot of people out there who watch the show.

But perhaps, most of all...because I'm a fan too.

Sekarang, untuk musim ni - tiba-tiba blog aku melonjat naik dari segi jumlah pembaca ke lebih 1,200 orang sehari, dan 'populariti' yang tak diundang ni, sekaligus membawa bermacam masaalah.

First of all - cukup saya nak ingatkan semua, this is MY weblog - or blog. Which is my personal online diary. When you come in here, you read my thoughts...no one else's. Right or wrong, they are my personal reflections, dan aku bukan nak tulis semua ni kerana inginkan pembacaan semua orang, tapi kerana inilah semua luahan hati aku atas apa juga yang berlaku dalam hidup aku.

Tapi, saya sedih bila kata-kata saya di salahtafsir orang.

Sebenarnya, saya tak kisah langsung - apa pun kata orang yang ingin mengkritik, menhina ataupun menghamun pandangan saya. And this is not the reason for this posting.

Recently, I wrote about something that went wrong in one of my days, and it was passed on to someone else, who thought I was writing about them. This person is someone I've known and respected a long time...dan aku tak pernah pun mengatakan sesuatu yang negatif mengenainya. Mungkin atas apa yang dilaporkan padanya, orang itu telah menganggap aku mengutuknya tanpa soal selidik. He didn't even bother to read what I wrote, or ask me if it was true. And that saddens me.

So mulai sekarang - my views will definitely be not be including anything on my social life at all. I have tried to make myself an open person by voicing my heart's cries, but it now threatens even the basic understanding of what friendship is all about.

This blog began with the sole reason for being theraphy for me - to get over the problems of my social life, and now it has become dictated by pop culture. And worse still - it has been misconstrued and misunderstood. This has been the worst day of my life - and aku tak tahu apa lagi nak cakap dalam posting ni...