Divine diva

Matilah aku...sorry Ning but I really couldn't resist posting this pic.

Mana taknya...ni masa kita gi rumah Linda Onn semalam. Memang ujan ribut taufan pelbagai ler. Then nak on the way ke rumah Linda through Pinggiran Ukays tuh lak kena lalu kubur cina lagik ler horror.

Merasalah sampai kena acara sprinting ke bawah kawasan khemah yang erected.

Wow...tak sempat apa-apa terpegun...cantik abih rumah Linda ek. Meka nih baru pindak rumah April lalu. But malas amik pic sebab nak snappy candid orang.

Fahrin ada...Zain RuffEdge ada...tak penting. Last-last aku tengah sumbat muka, merasalah ko! Diva pun kena sprinting ok (tapi dia bak payung ok sikit ler dari kes aku nih)

Matilah walaupon ala ala whirlwind with hails from hell, tetap Ning maintain diva ok pakai glitterati pelbagai! That's life as a diva for you...always fashionable.

Merasalah masa dia jejak bawah khemah aku da warning, sebab air deras yang mengalir (the main road in front of Linda punya rumah on a slope) quite high aku pun warning ler Ning.

Yerlah...tanak ler diva rosakkan Blahniks dia kan (ke Vincci jer?) So dia pun fold up dia punya kain seluar lak. Whiule clutching her purse, and the umbrella...cam ceti lak pulak. Not exactly a striking picture of elegance. But Ning will be Ning...tetap maintain demi camera. Keji...

Ampun, Ning for posting (nyah...mak baca blog ko...mak tau pasal trauma ko - katanya...)...but ok ler...ko rupa ko memang over pun malam tuh....but tetap befitting a diva!

Vernon not spotted. Tapi apparently, Nikki dan Yanie yang awal sampai da, were midway instructed by Mr Manager to act as his camerawomen. Keji!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slave labour!!!

Talk about abuse of position. Abih bebudak tuh lari bertempiaran nak carik photo opportunity.

But gome wajib shots of them together. Ni below ada pic Nikki ngan Linda, sekali ngan Yanie and Linda too. The last too solo sebab Yanie berani 'fear factor'kan diri nak pegang iguana adik Linda (walaupun almost dropped it once sebab geli teramat)

Aku masuk lepak bilik belakang sebab mula-mula spotted Zain.

Tengok tengok dia tengah lepak ngan Nila Kurnia tengah sembang. Suddenly

I spotted this little bundle of joy. Mak aih..dari tengok si mama Nila bolat, tengok-tengok this is the first I've seen her baby.

Amik ko...comel ok!!

Merasa lah....so cute. Nila upset (terkejut...bukan upset sedih ok) yang anak dia suka ok ngan aku. Gurgling all the way, siap leh smile tuk aku masa aku pose kan shot kata uncle (uncle ke) nak amik pic.

Puas tengok bebudak camni...bila lak aku nak ada anak sendiri (dalam gelak sendiri...terdetik lak perasaan sedih)

Anyway...balik malam tuh pas two open houses (Linda dan Juwita punya) pala relax sikit sebab tak sihat, aku MC dua ari. Ok ler tuh...

Jumpa and got some loving from my baby. Siap beli supper tuk aku hantar ke rumah bebudak sebab lepak tunggu dia kat 16. Ceh!

Lama da orang tak manjakan aku camni. Ni yang hati sayang ni...aduh...esok je posting. Dia da call nak supper.

Night all...

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Farewell, my Princess

I know this tribute may be a little late in coming...but I had to do one especially.

In a time when I just found someone to spend my precious time with, I had to endure the sadness of losing someone special.

Yes, I used the term someone, not something, even though it's my pup Princess, because she is like a member of the family. She was the most loyal pet I've ever had.

Strike that out, she was more than a pet.

Apapun, on Ssaturday morning at about 6am, aku pulang ke rumah dengan seseorang (nanti aku ceritakan selebihnya in the next posting).

Balik, ayah aku was in the hall, with my two dogs, Mickey and Princess. Sempat ler si 'dia' tengok kecomelan kedua ekor, before we masuk tidur.

An hour later, time baru nak lelap...my dad knocked the door.

Now my parents know never to wake me up...because I'm incredibly grumpy punya kalao dikejutkan dari tidur.

Anyway, aku give up dan mengalah with the insistent knocking, aku pun bukak pintu and there was my dad yang cuma cakap, "Princess died."

I was like..you got to be joking.

Princess was lying sprawled, tempat sama dia dok masa aku pulang an hour earlier.

Her eyes were half open, she looked tired, and her fur was slightly messed up. Aku pet and stroked her, but she didn't get up. Aku rasa cam nak jerit je. What the...

My sister had found her as a stray about ten years ago. She's a pedigree...but then that's not the point.

We didn't know where she came from, but found on stormy night, we gave her a home, and she became part of the family.

And on one stormy morning, she just left.

My dad kata she'd been fighting sleep the whole night long, seolah she knew if she fell asleep takkan bangun. She kept trying to run under the bed to hide.

And before she passed on, she let out a soft whimper and moved on.

Even time dia meninggal pun dia tak nak menyusahkan orang. Kengkawan yang datang rumah tau ler my pup tuh camna.

She understands three languages, English, BM and Hokkien, and she does everything as told (for real)

Aku time sedih kekadang balik stress, ada masalah ke apa, she was my bundle of joy, my soft toy yang temankan aku when I stare blankly into the TV and meleleh airmata.This time, my tears are for her.

Dok nangis kejap. It's been a long time since I felt real tears like this. Hot and burning...

After a while, went in the room, bagitau sayang aku to sleep first and that I had to bury my Princess. Dia pun tak cakap apa-apa...cuma peluk aku and then minta aku uruskan apa yang patut.

In between choked tears, aku told my parents, she deserved a proper burial. And my dad lined a box with her favourite blankets, and then put in a crucifix, said a prayer and boxed her.

I started work in the backyard, to dig a hole, one worthy to be called a decent grave for my Princess.

My health sucks, and I kept runing out of breath and almost collapsed. Now I know how anger and sadness just pushes your physical limits to the point your body wants to explode. Two days later, my body is still aching.

To cut it short, we gave her a decent burial...buried her after cementing the top and sides to make sure the grave wouldn't be intruded by other critters, and then then piled it back with the earth, before weighing ir further down with more stones and such.

I refused to take any shots of her body before the burial...I know I would cry non-stop if I see those pictures. So aku amik masa nak bury her only.

It's so strange cause the little things that make my life worth living...slowly disappear one by one. And yet...my faith in life itself, is supposed to not wane.

Is it?

I don't know. All I know is, one friend I had who was there through thick and thin, a family member that was bound by an emotional bond, a voiceless companionship in moments of need...is no longer there and gone.

I miss you so much, girl.

This is for you my Princess...I miss you, girl...

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Can you cackle?

Apa tujuan aku nak letakkan pic angsa nih? Simply because of the fact that I found that amusing. Actually, I took this shot from inside the car, time sesat nak gi rumah Azwan Ali atas jemputan dia nak beraya kat rumah dia.

Biasalah...kalau da dok rumah Azwan, gosip mesti banyak...senang keja aku, kan? So about 3pm, jemput orang gila tuk temankan lepak (matilah dia akan tuduh aku kidnap dia sebenarnya).

Problem is, last Raya pun aku gi rumah dia, redah dalam 8 lebih malam dalam ujan, aku tak ingat sangat jalan. Time nak ke Ukays Perdana, we went into Pinggiran akibat navigational error dari Farihad punya instructions jalan. Matilah katanya rumah sana mewah mewah tapi tepi kubur Cina.

My Lord...horrornya. And I mean like right next to the graveyard. Aku kalao dok dekat-dekat camtuh memang tak kuar malam ler jawabnya.

Anyway depan one of these lavish houses, tengok-tengok this whole gaggle of geese (did I get that right? kalau tak harus kena carut ngan yang feeling cikgu Bahasa Inggeris)

Thought they kind of looked cute so snapped a shot for keeps.

Finally found the place. Had a good laugh over some personal stuff tengok gelagat orang. Oh my...some people will do anything nak berangan dan gila glamer (warga-warga tompang glam - bukan carut Azwan).

Tak kuasa...aku gi nak beraya, so ignore je. Not worth my time. Anyway, first person spotted was Farhan.

Lama tak nampak minah ni da, sempat ler sembang jap pas melantak.

Didn't have much to do sebab awal lagi ngan semua budget diva nak lewat petang atau malam baru nak menyemak...so was a little bored until a little spectacle masa Akma sekali sampai same time ngan Linda Rafar and someone special (terima kasih Linda for wedding invitation tuh ek).
Akma tengah melantak, aku pun layan gosip sat ngan Deja Moss kejap. Yerlah...sekali sekala jumpa, sembang je la.

Deja pon pala tune besh...so enjoy ler gila gila sikit sok sek pot pet and sebagainya.

Tengah makan tuh, Zahid lak sampai along with a friend.

Cis...kalau aku tau dia nak kuar awal-awal, aku leh planning dari nak sesat sesat sampai tanah perkuburan. Sia sia aja...

Pas gosip ngan Deja, Ifa Raziah pun singgah-singgah kat kami kat ruang tamu tuk contribute sikit pada aktiviti anyam ketupat yang erm...menghabiskan kredit talktime pahala (merasalah carut diri sendiri) Kak Ifa....tambah ensem ek laki ko...oops! Caras...jangan tak caras.

Dari makan hati, aku pun ke ruang makan layan si Akma dan Zahid. Kalau nak tau Akma dalam two weeks agik akan take part in a theatre production tau kat MPPJ. Nanti aku bagik more details ok. Dengan Anding sekali.

Tu yang dia bagitau. Kelas skang da lakon lakon teater si Akma.
Zahid angin dia baik (cukup tido ler...) and in the right frame of mind nak recording malam ni ngan Audi lagu untuk album baru dia yang akan datang.

Amik pic meka....Akma muka terkejut tuh sebab dia tak tahan nak hold a pose tuk handphone aku yang lama sangat nak save image.
Si Zahid lak sibuk ala cium handphone sebab sebenarnya dia tengah gayut, and then da end call kononnya nak pose tapi tak sempat.

Merasalah ala ala lapar sebab tak cukup makan konon kan nak telan Nokia tuh.

Anyway Akma balik...ada lagik yang datang. Erm...sapa ek, jap aku ingat balik.

Let's see Azza (formerly of Elite)...Rosnah Mat Aris da balik time tuh, Norlia Ghani pun.

Er...sapa lagik was there. Bette Banafe pun da ciao da. Erm...sapa ek.

Ooh...ok. Baru ingat. Time da pas pukul 6pm baru si trio of Umie Aida, Erra Fazira dan Hans Isaac sampai. Just in time too sebab meka langkah je masuk rumah, it started pouring.

Ujan rahmat? Dream on...merasalah carutan. Terima kasih pada Umie yang feeling nak posing ala Cleopatra overdose.

I actually like this shot a lot, sebab walaopon camera aku cam #$%^& tapi the picture still looks good, don't you think?

Very the cover cover shot.

Nanti aku postkan dalam myspace ko ek Umie gambar yang feeling overdose manja dan sexy yang sebenarnya cam nak terkentut pas menelan dua kilo belacan (does that make sense? - ampun Umie...I lap you!)

There wasn't much going on after that, so pikir-pikir, make a move jer la. Sebab the rain had slowed down by then (at about 7pm) and sebenarnya lapar and wanted to get some real food.

So sekali ngan Fiebie gerak ke Pandan Indah lepak tempat kak long before melantak kat Cheras later.

Abih dinner, masuk online jap nak update blog. Amik ko...da dok dekat sejam nak wat update punya pasal. By the way, aku pakai cardreader aku, ada flash card dari digicam aku yang lama yang attached. I found this pic inside.

It's a picture dari I think 2001 ke 2002 (most probably 2002 kot) ngan Melly masa kat Anugerah Industri Muzik dapat lepak ngan dia (first time jumpa dia). Time tuh dia kurus lagi.

Aku time tuh baru got rid of my red hair, and tukar blue, dia lak parade rambut merah katanya. Amik ko...next to each other we look like a police squad car gone wrong. Matilah carut diri sendiri.Aku nak carik balik ler koleksi pics aku through the years sebab da banyak kaler rambut aku changed. Let me see...it's easier kalao nak tanyakan kaler apa aku tak buat dari apa aku buat, sebab rasa satu pallette pelangi da penah hinggap kat pala aku ni.

Cuma aku rasa...pasnih aku kurang ler sikit bab kaler kaler rambut. Aku da potong pendek (like in the pic) tapi black with minimal left over red and blonde streaks. As for nak simpan balik rambut panjang pon da malas. Been there done that.

What am I going to do next? Get my next tattoo!!! Tu kena buat immediately tuh. Perhaps this weekend sebab da mai gila aku. Who knows....we'll see how things go...I prefer kalao nak wat, spur of the moment, sebab aku da pun ada design yang aku nak buat for my next tattoo project.

Eh ok lah...dok lama da ni nak update dan check email dan myspace pelbagai. Malam Jumaat...paham paham jer lah...eh..jangan pikir bukan-bukan. Erm...nak gi erm...jalan jalan ngan member saja melepak minom. Hartamas perhaps (merasa la heaven kalao port nak cuci mata dan sebagainya)

Be posting tomorrow again!

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We are family

It's strange how no matter how bad things get, having family around always makes things better.

And I count myself lucky ler to have family around. Not just my mom, dad and sis, who are the best in the world (semua orang cakap camtuh kan about their family)

Aku also ada extended family aku...cam semalam masa meraihkan birthday Yanie.

And today...aku jumpa my other extended family...one of the many who accept me for who I am, and genuinely care for me.

Aku time camnih aku appreciate gila babs punya these people cause they make me feel so much better just by being there. Sedih ler how some people don't have that opportunity...or worse still...don't appreciate what they have.

Yup...family is indeed the most important thing you could have.

And malam tadi, gi ler open house Zahid. Tujuan nak gi sebenarnya nak jumpa mama dan papa.

So ngan mata bengkak pas tido mati seharian (bayangkan tido kol 8 pagik, jaga 8 malam), melangkah.

On the way mesej ler partner in crime. Rupanya dia da sampai. Keji! Dahler aku tatau jalan around area Kota Damansara ni. Dia leh tinggalkan je. Keji la kalao da berkepit, segalanya lupa termasuk kawan-kawan. Pastu sesat-sesat nya aku, sampai lak dia da balik. Keji!!! Matila kena api neraka ngan aku...memang mengundang malapetaka kan! Malam ni mlam Khamis ler bukan malam Jumaat nak rushing-rushing nak nafkah batin sun!!!

Takpe...takpe...

Aku nekad...last last jumpa pon tempatnya. Mak aih, very the maze.

Sampai je ilang segala problem sebab dapat jumpa mama dan papa Zahid nak ciom tangan meka and wish them Selamat Hari Raya and ciom tangan mintak ampon (mintak ampon dosa tak keep in touch or jumpa them all this time ler.

Pastuh lak...lepak-lepak, nampak ler geng ZA8FC. The best fan club from any season of Akademi Fantasia. And that's the truth. Dah dua musim sejak ZA8FC formed, and still meka nih going strong.

And the key? They treat each other like family.

Anyway, jumpa Zahid jap...then lepak ler mingling. Lega sikit pala otak berserabut 1001 benda yang di layan dalam otak yang tak perlu.

Zain RuffEdge pon ada...sempat ler hi hi. Then sembang kawan dari ntv7, yang suami dia somehow related to Zahid (cousin kot...tak hengat)

Tengok-tengok anak dia lari pada dia (member aku ni) excited kata dapat amik gambar ngan Mawi. Eh...botak pon ada rupanya.

Tak sangka dia mai...tapi yang beshnya sebab open house tuh ramai family and friends je, takde ler huru hara seperti kebiasaan kalao ada Mawi.Lepak ngan botak jap who was eating di temani Man. Apiz dan Zahid lepak sekali.

Cantik punya aku kena laser seketul ngan Zahid pasal pakai baju MW 100 iaitu baju Mawi World (100 tuh nombor dia ujibakat - 0100) keluaran syarikat yang also mengeluarkan air mineral sejuta Ringgit (matilah aku...)

Zahid kata aku da paling tadah ZA8FC. Zalimnya statement!!!

Terus majuk kat dia...(matilah merajuk dipujuk tak kuasa...botak leh gelak...siot je!!!)

Terus pusing kat botak mintak dia bayar duit endorsement sebab pakai baju dia bagik kat aku aritu masa lepak. Matilah katanya aku menjadi walking billboard (mentang-mentang badan aku...erm..lebar)

Mawi gelak je. Siot je.

Amik korang....aku postkan pic korang muka tak kowser kat blog aku. Tau pon takut (yer yer cam ler meka kisah pon - merasalah publicity percuma kan). Maintain macho konon bila perasan aku amik pics tuk blog.

Aku mintak Mawi ganti DJ yang diupah mainkan muzik kat luar rumah tuh tuk hiburkan para tamu...hah...nak gak kan? Tapi takde ler dia buat. Tapi cam teringin je. Heh!!!

Kelas ok...ada dua orang DJ bertugas sekali nak sok sek layan main lagu celah celah orang karaoke. Sesapa je rasa (perasan) sora sedap, can just walk up and karaoke. Beshnya...even though aku benci karaoke machines, but I think it made things kinda fun ler.

Dengan tak disangka-sangka, suddenly ada impromptu performance (merasalah free show katanya - untung ler peminat dua orang nih yang hadir)

Masa time Mawi nak balik da, Zahid (yang performed several songs after that as well) tarik dia karaoke skali. Amik ko practise berduet for Lagu Jiwa Lagu Cinta. Merasalah Zahid falsetto celah celah tuh. M. Nasir pon nan ado katanya.

Pas botak balik, aku serempak ngan Edlin lak. Eh...dia pon ada. Tak perasan dia dok diam diam celah tamu lain. And then later Bob sampai sekali ngan PA dia Shuib dan sorang agik member.

Nana completed the list of keluarga Akademi Fantasia yang hadir, termasuk kak Shahila ler, producer yang da lama terikat ngan AF (cam torture je bunyi terikat nih)

So Mawi, Nana, Edlin, Bob...mana perginya bebudak Akademi Fantasia lain? Especially dari musim baru nih.

Huh...tak kuasa tol tak sanggup tunjuk muka punya kes ni.

Keji maha keji tajuk album.

Lantak ler...dok borak sampai kosong hampir semua tamu da berambus. Yerlah...bila Nana dan Bob ada...molot murai semua.

Abih ler...sambil makan...leh pot pet. Cam makcik jer semua. Tambah lagik ada beberapa orang tak betui cam si Min, Lan dan Judd around apa lagik (merasa korang dapat mention dari aku - kalau nak aku link kan...komen kat bawah ek tanda memberi izin)

Hah...anyway ada story Nana sikit.

Use the first picture for the second part of the story and the second pic for the later explaination (kalau complex sangat, sambil baca tuh paham ler)

Kalau nak tau...minah ni sampai lambat (ampun Nana!!!)

Ceritanya dia sibuk nak gi dentist. Sampai tengah malam bukak ker....hish. Tu lah akibat nak cantik terpaksa pakai grill kat depan tuh wat sementara (ampunnnn Nana!!!!!)

To continue on...anyway...dia dok promosi sampul Raya majalah InTrend.

Aku perli dia...last-last kata kalao setakat sampul, kosong, kalau ada isi pun wat per kan?

Dia bagik aku angpow satu. Aku ingat kosong, pastu dia marah kata lepas rokok sekotak.

Aku korek tengok ada RM5.

Weiii...Nana!!! Rokok kotak besau skang RM7.40 la! (sah tatau harga rokok semasa yang astronomical)

Zaman tok kadok ler RM5 leh beli big pack...and I never did small pack or medium punya kotak ok...

Eh...kenapa ada gambar orang pakai selipar oren?

Nope...it's not Zahid. Those feet belong to Aypol.

Kenapa ek gambar Aypol leh ada sini? Erm...because I found his slippers quite cute sebab tema orange gitu.

Erm...selain tuh...kenapa ek pic dia sebelah Nana?

Entah ler...Aypol of is course Zahid punya sidekick and right hand man ler (right hand as in PA dia ok...korang jangan pikir benda lain yang wat ngan tangan kanan... otak kuning tol!)

Erm....apa kaitan ngan Nana ek? Takder apa-apa.

Tak baik korang speku ok. THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON!!! (sambil sembunyikan gelak nih)

Tapi saja ler nak gak amik pics meka berdua kan, tapi mengelak lak time aku da halakan cameraphone.

Keji...saja tanak bagik aku gambar sensasi tok digosipkan kat sini.

Ada je pose innocent wat tatau jer. This is the best shot I could get ler of them. Geram ek Nana....?

Lain kali pastikan angpow besar sikit kalao tanak blog papparazzi bertugas.

Merasalah disuap.

Anyway...after everyone started going back, Zahid dan Aypol timeni ler baru makan (Aypol pecah lobang bab Zahid takde maknanya baru nak makan - apa punya sidekick la pecah lobang boss)....aku pun...akibat mai open house tak nak makan konon takde selera.

Da nak wat camna...at least ada geng makan...layan ler. Azwan Ali join sekali time melantak.

Cadang nak gi lepak Hartamas memula, tapi tak cukup korum plus yang ada pun keja (lupa lak aku sorang je cuti - cis!), so kansel.

Still, nak leave pun da berzaman, sebab jalan selangkah, dua jam sembang dan gossip.

Abih tuh...I went off feeling good. I don't know why, but I was happy. Just like yesterday, aku rasa a sense of fulfilment.

Good because aku cam feel these people who are close to me personally are the only ones that matter...and I don't understand why I don't realise that early on and wallow in my deep blue funk.

Besides, aku break ni pun I DUMPED THAT PERSON. So kenapa ek aku nak rasa camni.

Mungkin aku geram sebab aku rasa aku dump dia pon atas sebab banyak dia bullsh*t ngan aku kot.

And then pastuh konon bila da break nak bagik aku rasa bersalah ngan katakan aku tak caya dia sayang kat aku ler...aku tak reti nilai this and that and all the miscellaneous crap you can think of.

I was also pissed I suppose sebab ada ke da pas da jadi kelentong, ingat break tuh, kita berjumpa at least kawan ler, dia kata nak jumpa, langsung tak contact pastu nak main lari-lari.

Takper ler...lari ler sejauh ko ingin ngan utang ko.

So I don't think I'm upset about much (bab dia...memang not much - oops!) but maybe it's just my nature to be upset with people who are born liars. And oh well...aren't there a lot of those out there...

Takper...jodoh banyak lagik (taip ni sambil belek phone check nombor baru dapat)

Anyway, back to masa nak balik. Sebelum balik sempat ler gelak cita keta Bob yang bontot remuk (keta dia...bukan dia tau)

Kesnya...dia wat show tuk anak yatim. Pas abih show tengok keta remuk di langgar bas yang membawa anak-anak yatim tuh.

Entah camna drebar tuh leh langgar dalam reverse tuh. Alasan brake tak makan ker something like that. Gila ke haper.

Terbayang Bob yang melatah tahap gaban menjerit kalao dia ada dalam keta time kena langgar. Merasalah.

Sorry ek pada peminat Bob sebab tak clear pic ni. We were having too much of a ball chatting nak amik a lot of pics. Hope this will do.

Anyway, sempat ler talk about separuh akhir Muzik Muzik akan datang. Of course, Mawi, Bob dan Zahid will keep the Akademi Fantasia camp's flag flying high...

Didn't really know where to head to sebab da past midnight. Last last-decide nak singgah Internet cafe sat nak reload phone sebab senang lagik pakai Maybank2U.

Sekali gus...budget...update jer lah blog to kill time.

Then ada kawan kawan lak ajak minom.

So got to cut this short. Esok aku posting lagik. Esok tetiba dapat invite open house lagik. So maybe after tomorrow aku lari for a short vacation somewhere.

PS
By the way sapa yang psycho nak pass kan kat member dia nombor Celcom aku yang kat blog ni.Semalam aku kena miss call dari 1am sampai 6am. Pastuh dapat mesej mesej mengarut.
Siang tadi, pas aku hantar mesej kata aku maapkan kegilaan dia, dia kata dia need a friend nak talk to.

Tadik bermesej ngan dia tanya siapa dia. Alamak...pompuan mana lak ni. Adus....memang don't know anything about me. Perlu ke nak berlessie?!!

Kawan leh kawan...tapi cara salah ler. You don't make real friends this way...

Sori ek...whoever you are, take care of yourself. I am not the one for you. Memang aku skang dalam proses mencari cinta after dumping someone who was not worth my time, tapi...agak agak ler.

Good luck though. We all need it!

*Nak tengok lebih pics? Gi blog Judd.

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Entry melantak

Ni lintas langsung dari opis Ning & Associates. The event? Birthday Yanie.

Sapa sini ek? Ngan host, ada ler waitress air dan waitress makanan (last minute tak hadir sentap bijik sebab dahler dua jam lambat, feeling nak usung churan mana datnag lak...keji!!!) ...tapi takper sebab party hostesses ramai.

Guest list, of course ler ada tokang urus sorang, bak anak buah Diddy...abang Aidit Alfian (wat lagu tuk album Yanie kang) and wife, kak Zaza pun ada, Audi Mok (pencipta lagu Caramu) and of course diva segala diva pun ada (tapi yerlah...lambat gak...masuk angin perut aku nak tunggu dia nak melantak) ditemani her mom, Aunty Stella dan Nikki yang baru abih rehearsal rakam for Christmas.

A lot of other folks were there...Rudy and friends, Famee...ramai ler.

Sesak rumah panjang menegak ni.

Banyak benda available nak melantak. Aku bak air enam botol, add to Vernon's four sebab the last time masa Nikki punya birthday we didn't have enough air. Turns out this time there was more than enough. That and KFC...sebab selain Famee yang bak satu barrel, si Ning gatal lak gi beli tanpa consulting. So overabundance of chicken la hasilnya.

Most effort went into the spaghetti yang si Aidit punya bini. Zaza buat (tepukan gemuruh sat). Most appropriate is Fiebie's tarts. Tarts from a tart and all....(matilah aku!!!)

So celah kebisingan dan kekosongan (how do these people eat, talk and scream while breathing at the same time??!!!)

Makan...melantak...kecoh sakit telinga ngan gelak memacam and so on. Biasalah kalao ramai-ramai dah get together. Very the family event ler. Alih sikit perhatian aku dari what's on my mind. Not what...who. No...not the same person.

In fact I'm not sure which one for that matter (matilah semua pun nak)

Korang tengok je ler kekecohan kat sini. Aku sebenarnya update on the spot sebab dalam bosan sebenarnya ngan pala yang runsing.

After someone that didn't fit in into my life, aku got a hair cut last Saturday (pendek kembali) akibat kebosanan dan kebingungan, and met several people. Yeah well...ok ler. Took my mind off a lot of things ler...and it di help me just focus on other things.

But the more people I met... (and lept with - can I say that here) aku rasa cam ada yang tak kena.

No...it's nothing to do with regret...or remorse over doing it just after breaking up (I was the one who broke up...) even though it's not rebound relationships ke rebound sex or whatever you call it, ...just aku malas nak pikirkan orang lain...anyone for that matter. Aku nak pikirkan diri aku je. Yeap...being selfish is important sometimes. All too important...

So? Keputusan aku? Aku nak amik cuti. Nak larikan diri dari KL pas malam esok. Ikut hati hari ni je...tapi ari ni da ada birthday Yanie, pastuh lak esok ada Raya open house Zahid lak. Terpaksa sebab da janji ngan mama Zahid. Lagikpun da lama tak jumpa my 'parents' ni, so ok ler.

But tomorrow pas abih aku nak ciao...berambus...disappear.

Anyways... moving on...first...to the pics. Kalau korang nak pics lebih check the blogs of photographer tak bertauliah 1, photographer tak bertauliah 2 dan photographer tak bertauliah 3.

Ni antara a few of the pics I snapped. Sorry camera aku gelap sikit. From top to bottom, left to right, first tukang sibuk jadik official photographer amik pic orang melantak, second Yanie dan Diddy melantak, third abang Bad lak marah sebab di amik pic masa melantak, next Ning lak sentap sebab aku nak amik pic dia melantak, then Nikki cover line konon tak melantak, then Yanie melantak lagik and the next two pics sibuk aksi suap suap kek oleh Ning, Nikki dan Diddy konon Yanie jer yang melantak (kesian dia...) Last pic Yanie kena naya digambarkan melantak lagi, sementara Nikki cover line tak melantak konon (love you Yanie...ampun!)

So.... it was a fun thingie, and it was fun but I guess aku nih sedikit preoccupied ler sikit sebab banyak pikirkan the usual stuff.

But then again...maybe I should just go get pissed drunk.

Whatever it is I'll make up my mind tomorrow after abih open house tuh. eet my extended family pastu berambus memana nak ilangkan stress aku yang tak wujud tapi diwujudkan sendiri (does that make sense???)

I have one more birthday party to go to, kali ni surprise tuk mentor aku for my writing (selain kakak aku) iaitu Alam. Meka wat surprise 8.30 tadik. So aku surprise sendiri sendiri ler.

Lagik surprise kalao meka semua da balik. Matilah aku...aduh...gila la layan lawak diri sendiri.

Apa da...ok ler guys, one more final post before I take a short break from tomorrow night.
Plans subject to change.

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The orange

I am an Orange (Erik Widholm, 1987)
I am an Orange
I have appeal;
You observe me from without
Sensing shape, smell, colour
And the texture of my seal
But do you know me? How I taste?
If I'm bitter, bland or sweet?
Only those who go beyond
Through the toughness of my skin
Can ever find what flavor
There really lies within

Yes...more poetry. And this one I wouldn't have mind to say I wrote, but i didn't lah.Bukan pasal Zahid hanya kerana orange ok, but I love the whole symbolism of how people never look beyond someone to realise what's inside them.

Since aku baru lalui something very stupid and unecessarily burdening, it puts a lot into perspective for me.

I should realise my worth and tak amik pot orang yang tak value aku, tuh je.

In other words, I dumped you and had sympathy for you sebab sayang...tapi ko lak feeling ko cantik kan?

Matilah nak guna blog sebagai medan carutan peribadi. Tak penting lah.

Just to that person, grow up. Life is so much more than just what you think it is.

Janji semalam jumpa si Adik. 19 years-old! Woohoo!

No I didn't do anything...no rebound relationships...or even rebound sex (ada ke such thing?)

Tapi aku clear headed ler sikit. So easier to handle Monday!

Much to blog tomorrow....just needed to say something for a weekend that was made special by meeting seseorang yang da dimiliki tapi membalas ayat aku bila kau flirt.

Mmm...tongue has never taste so good!

Yeap...I'm back in the singles market. And loving every moment of it for now.

Until that person decides to grow up and let me know whether this is over for good or not at least.

No skin off my back. I can live..

(The Orange ni aku dedicate sekali to that person - hope ko paham you have a problem with your inferiority complex)

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Oh well...

My heart of stone
Hardened through failure
Shattered though it may be in a million pieces
Remains my monument to you

Matilah sebenarnya aku ada terjumpa this sajak lama aku pernah tulis, which was something along those lines.

Kononnya time tuh, aku try and improve my Bahasa Malaysia ler kan, so aku pun banyak ler tulis what I felt. Aku banyak influenced by Indo writers and the simplicity, tapi powerful use of mundane terms.

Matilah aku sebenarnya nak post it here, tapi Professor Fiebie Lenggang (matilah...cam sedara seseorang je) yang online masa tuh nak jadi reluctant counsellor aku tuk depression aku, yang aku showed this piece of work to, started his linguistic expertise.

Last-last aku give up, and immediately condensed it straight to the point of the whole three para thing to become just one.

It maintains the essence of it, tapi obviously in a medium aku lebih confortable with (matilah tak dapat carut aku sangat).

Anyway...tonight...was just shitty at best.

Aku spend the whole night tunggu 'dia' yang janji...yang katakan ingin bertemu. Tapi not a call...not a word.

At 11pm, I gave up my renewed hopes and had a quick bite, a drive around town to clear my mind.

Now...almost three hours later, I'm still f**ed up. Aku depressed, frustrated. Aku da amik keputusan tamatkan...then aku nyesal sebab kenyataan sayang. Aku nak megalah...memang hati aku mengalah pun... harapan nak jumpa menggunung. Mana tau kan... and ternyata aku dikecewakan agik.

I don't understand so many things right now.

My heart has just been ripped out of my ribcage (if you can get past the fat and cholesterol build up) and thrown on the floor and stomped on (and it's not even kinky sex).

It hurts.

I think I need sleep...it's not going to come easy. Especially since I've finished my prescription of Xanax. Damn...when it rains it pours.

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Numb

Today has been the most relaxed day of the week so far, and I thank God cause I think I really need it pas the traumatic week I went through with my professional and personal upheavals.

But it sure is good to be able to blog again.

Only problem is, today, I'm out of inspiration to blog about anything in particular.

Just feeling kid of numb.

Malam ni kalao ada apa apa aku tulis ler.

Kosong je pala skang.

Sampai tahap aku leh spring cleaning my desk at the office...

This is one of my sucky instant poems for that person who was, still is, but probably not in the same manner anymore...in my life.

I want it
But I dread fate
I rush in anticipation
But I flail at failure
I blame myself
But maybe it's fate
I wallowed in my emptiness
But then I found you
I give my heart
But it all seems wrong
I cry
But it's too late
Maybe I've lost you, and what you say is true
We'll shed tears together under the same stars
Goodbye baby...

Pathetic effort kan. Takperlah...it's a condensed version of my emotions, and that's what matters to me. No one else.

Aku pasti dia pun paham apa aku nak sampaikan.

On a lighter note, listen out for Yanie and Diddy's joint debut single, Saling Terpesona kat radio mulai malam ni.

Kalau nak info lebih, gi kat blog manager artis memasing iaitu the one forever disinclined to grant folks request his acqueiscence (matilah link terpanjang in my blog ever) and or the necreckfoor marrer (don't ask as well).

Aku dah dengar lagu tu, obviously masa proses rakaman, but it's not important lah, my description of the song. Yang pentingnya, if you guys catch it tonight, let's share what you think of the tune ok.

Aku interested gak nak know feedback korang camna.

Meanwhile, aku mungkin jumpa si dia yang kami saling terpesona malam ni (kalau dia tepati janji untuk nak berjumpa). At the moment, I'm just looking for closure, to end this trial period.

Tapi dia pun kata sayang, and I know my feelings, so that foolish part of me is holding me back and not allowing me to walk away.

Still, sometimes the heart does make a better judge than the brain kan...sometimes...all too rarely.

Malas nak pikirkan anything else for the moment.

Will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Meanwhile, back at the bat cave...aku kelaparan tahap gaban, tapi selera lak takde. Nak call bebudak nak gi melantak, but somehow in all my loneliness at this moment, I want to be alone.

Contradictory sangat.

I'm just a mess lah no matter what. No wonder I'm still single.

Kesepian kejombloan udah pasti menghantui ku sampai tamat hayatku. Reality bites... and sucks!

By the way, bosan sangat messed about and did this.Anyone interested to guess how it's going to sound like? Well, I suppose kalao it's a compilation, it's going to be very moody at this moment.

Tapi kalao aku nyanyi, harus la menyakitkan telinga je.

Matilah akibat kebosanan dan stress.... the things I do to improve myself.

Weird huh... yeah right... bitch about me. I bet you guys have been there before. Argh...dilema tol. Eh...don't get me wrong. Dilema aku skang nak makan kat mana. Aku starving but no idea what to have for dinner slash supper.

Hmmm...guess pop down to kak Ara jer ler to have some of their expensive, small portions cooking as I always do when I'm stressed.

Wait a minute...I'm not stressed. Confused.... confounded?

Perplexed, perhaps?

Disoriented? Ok...bewildered maybe.

Messed up lah would sum it all pretty nicely lah. So susah nak go through the thesaurus to describe my he-period. I don't know what I'm ranting about, but I guess I just need to feel the comfortable hit of my fingers to the keyboard, and then that clacking sound that sounds like poetry in motion as I start churning out words faster and faster here...

*sigh*

I need to get a life...

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Anugerah datang lagi...dengan...

Ah....hari ni....secara misterinya...lega bercampur sedih.

Sayang pada seseorang...dalam sesaat kemarahan, telah bertukar menjadi benci. Penyesalan tak terhingga, tapi realiti tetap memaksa apa yang perlu di lakukan to have have taken place.

So be it.

Called off plans for the night, and decided to be extra rajin nak abihkan extra work for no extra pay. Working mysteriously is good for you....even though it induces kemalasan at the mere mention, kan.

Apapun, seperti dijanjikan, this is the FULL list of lagu-lagu yang layan untuk peringkat separuh akhir Muzik Muzik 21. Banyak lagu dijangkakan...ada gak yang nak gelak je to see their inclusion. Setakat filler kot...(ala ala konsep album lak ada killer ada filler).

Tul tak ada yang aku ramalkan ada kat dalam senarai? Baca sendiri, telitikan ek...

Kategori Irama Malaysia Dan Etnik Kreatif
(akan dipertandingkan 24 Nov, Jumaat, 9.30pm-11pm)
Racau Sang Khalifah - Noraniza Idris & Karim/Ahmad Fedtri Yahya/Noraniza Idris & Liza Hanim
Nafas Cinta - Mohamad Nasir Mohamad (M.Nasir)/Rosli Khamis (Loloq)/Misha Omar
Maharaja - Radeen Sri/hairul Anuar Harun/Ramlah Ram
Celik Celik - Farish Ramli (Cat Farish)/Farish Ramli(Cat Farish)/Nas Adila
Hantaran Hati - Nik Nizam/Rosminah Teh/Bob & Aspalela Abdullah
Candak - Suhaimi Mohd Zain (Pak Ngah)/Lokman Ghani/Syura
Warkah Buat Laila - Ayob Ibrahim/Habsah Hassan/Zahid
Zapin Bahari - Suhaimi Mohd Zain (Pak Ngah)/Mohd Kamarulzaman (Ce'Kem)/Natasha
Cinta Luhur - Yasin/Yasin/Saiful
Zapin Cinta SMS - Anuar Dahlan/Anuar Dahlan, Atie, Gee, Ahmad Azam & Azlee Senario/Senario & Adibah Noor

Kategori Balada
(akan dipertandingkan 1 Disember, Jumaat, 9.30pm-11pm)
Jatuh - Edry KRU/Edry KRU/Adam
Mungkir Bahagia - Norkamal Hazami Ahmad(Hazami)/Hazami & Ita/Hazami
Merawat Luka Terpendam - Mohd Azhar Abu Bakar (Azmeer)/Mohd Azhar Abu Bakar (Azmeer)/Liza Hanim
Iris - Edrie Hasim/Edrie Hashim/Awie
Terlalu Istimewa - Azlan Abu Hassan/Adibah Noor/Adibah Noor
Bersamamu - Affendy/Affendy/Siti Sarah Raisuddin
Suralaya Dalam D Major - Edrie Hashim/Rosli Khami (Loloq)/Amy Search
Kian - Fauzi Marzuki/Lukhman S./Mawi
Ku Seru - Mohd Faizal Maas(Ajai)/Habsah Hassan & Shuhaimi Baba/Misha Omar
Secebis Harapan - Zulkifli Mahat/Noor/Nora

Kategori Pop Rock
(Akan dipertandingkan 8 Disember, Jumaat, 9.30pm-11pm)
Lagu Jiwa Lagu Cinta - Mohd Nasir Mohamad (M.Nasir)/Rosli Khamis (Loloq)/Mawi & M. Nasir
Juwita Citra Terindah - Mohd Nasir Mohamad (M.Nasir)/Mohd Nasir Mohamad (M.Nasir)/M.Nasir
Lemas - Cat, Sein, Zain & Uno/Cat, Sein, Zain & Uno/RuffEdge
Diari Seorang Lelaki - Raizan Zainal Abidin (Neves)/Raizan Zainal Abidin (Neves)/Pretty Ugly
Da'Bomb - Cat, Azan Addin, Amer Munawer, Zain & Uno/Cat, Azan Addin, Amer Munawer & Zain/RuffEdge
Bukakanlah Pintu - Azlan Abu Hassan/Isha Ahmad(Ucu)/Amy Mastura
Tak Tercapai Akalmu - Aidit Alfian/Ad Samad/Elyana
Caramu - Audi Mok/Nur Fatima/Nikki & Zahid
Serasi Bersama - Mohd Faizal Maas (Ajai)/Rosli Khamis (Loloq)/Nurul & Ajai
Menari Denganku - Raizan Zainal Abidin (Neves)/Raizan Zainal Abidin (Neves)/Siti Sarah Raisuddin & Zahid

Semifinal semua will take place at Sri Pentas 2, Plaza Alam Sentral.
Aku da susun semua lagu yang layak dipertandingkan mengikut turutan mengikuti seperti the order of performance for the night.

So korang debat-debat ler apa korang rasa sesuai tuk layak Anugerah Juara Lagu tahun ni.

Aku lewat sikti baru wat prediction. Malas awal awal ni dah wat da....anyway, ramai gak yang hadir tadi.

Kira hampir semua penulis lagu dan penulis lirik hadir. Artis aku rasa semua ada, kecuali Zahid. Ada urusan ler tuh.

Takper...Nikki ada tuk wakilkan pada semua peminat meka berdua, ucapkan berjutaan tima kasih sebab undi tuk lagu Caramu sampai juara empat minggu berturut-turut selepas sahaja dicalonkan.

Amik ko...tu namanya fan power...

Anyway...jangan lupa, for Anugerah Bintang Popular, keep those votes coming in too ok, guys!

Ok ler...malas nak tulis panjang panjang malam ni. Nak keluar makan ngan kengkawan supaya tak peningkan diri sendiri malam ni.

I need some time off to myself.

Pastu balik nak watch some TV, most probably some idiotic sitcom nak hiburkan diri before aku check infor a night's amount of winks.

I am seriously tired out.

Minggu ni aku rasa antara the most work ever, plus atas tuh, the most stress I've had in a long time.

Is it all worth it?

I don't know...I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I'm just hoping dia takkan buat kesilapan seperti aku lakukan ketika aku umur dia.

Last thing...pada keta p*****k yang main cilok cilok aku kat Jalan Bukit Bintang time aku nak ke Berjaya Times Square, gi mampos ler ko. Dahler cam p****t gayut kat handphone, pastu nak tak puas ati main cilok depan orang cam orang gila.

In the end da masuk lane orang beriya-iya, turn out and headed to Jalan Tun Razak.

Gila ke haper...lain kali bak keta, kalau jenis attention deficit disorder, jangan gayut tau sial...membahayakan orang lain aja bangsa g*****g camni. And tuk tatapan semua, if you're rich, and have a car to spare, ram into this m****r f****r for me and I'll be indebted to you for life.

Cheers...

PS - Aku tak pakai handphone masa mandu unlike dia. My car was stationary tunggu dia jalan time tuh (tetap maintain muka innocent).

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Read all the way down

Aku lega sikit tadi lepas cakap ngan Halim dan orang rumahnya. Halim (atau lebih dikenali sebagai hantu Apollo - read the previous entry pasal penemuan kat laci dia) memang keja night shift, so selesai je dia, aku pun da settle keja...we went for a drink. Many drinks. Alah...bukan minum yang haram pun.

Just three Cokes, two Milo ais and one kopi ais.

Talked a lot...and it eased my mind about my supposed significant other. Got a lot of things off my chest.

I don't know...I'm just so messed up I don't know where to start unloading the hurt.
Every bloody relationship is a gamble for me. And no matter how it hurt each time, it doesn't hurt less the next time.

So I'm wondering at this unGodly hour....apakah salah aku. Adakah aku bersalah dalam keadaan ini? Atau patut kah aku salahkan hati seseorang itu yang sendiri indecisive...masih tertanya-tanya diri sendiri samaada ingin mencinta dan mencintai.

Aku ketepikan seseorang demi dia, tapi walaupun dalam segala kesungguhan dia... aku diketepikan oleh naluri impulsive dia.

Aduh....

Sakitnya... I don't know what went wrong...but this is the very reason aku sibukkan diri aku dengan kerja. I am just so over people playing the scene...thinking it's all that to be a player... been there..done that.

And what do I have to show for it right now? Lots of stories to brag about, but more hurt than I can handle over failures in my past.

Arghhhh.... f***k love!

I wanna go back to being a playa on the scene where at least I didn't get hurt. A little lonely on nights when I couldn't find someone to be with me.... but at least not that AND this bullshit about getting my f*****g heart ripped out of my ribcage.

Jika tak mengenal, kenapa ada rasa suka,
Jika tak memiliki kenapa ada kerinduan,
Jika ada cinta, mengapa ada pengkhianatan
Dan
Jika Hidup itu indah, mengapa airmata selalu menemani...
Oh Tuhan,
Jadikan aku orang yang sabar, tulus dan ikhlas tuk mengharungi perjalanan hidup...
Ika Wati Ramdan

Bullshit....that's what love is at this moment for me.

Entahlah...I don't even think it's matured and blossomed to become love pun before it turned stale like this.

We both made a promise to each other. I'm keeping it. You're not. If you want to end it, then let me know so I can move on with my life. Don't flatter yourself. It's easier than you think it is.

F**k!!!

Dahler....malas nak pikirkan. Baik aku update entry blog aku daripada merapu and pass it off as intelligent rantings like some people would have their past time be.

Tarik nafas sat....hmphhh....

So... erm.... on Tuesday, aku nak ucap tima kasih kat Mawi sebab ajak lepak kat opis baru Mawi World. Sebenarnya janji nak melantak kat mamak jer nak sembang pasal bab keja sikit. Dia pun free...tapi last last dia ajak mai opis dia jer. Uwaa...siap ada opis sendiri da.

Si Nasser jumpa aku kat mamak minom sat sebelom kami gerak bersama...yerlah aku bukan tau jalan. Rupa-rupanya opis dak botak ni dekat kat Taman Desa jer. Lor...dekat je 7-Eleven (bosan ngan nama tuh da) yang luar rumah Haziq dan bebudak batch AF4 yang penah aku sampai dulu.

Call ajak peminat nombor satu Mawi tuk lepak sekali, sebab lewat sikit pastuh kami ada nak gi event kat Shah Alam, dan kami cadang nak gerak sekali. Dia sampai later.
Mawi played host ler. Sekali ada, si Man dan DIn yang aku tak ingat ke tak aku penah jumpa ke tak.

Si Nasser balik awal, tak lepak lama sangat. Yerler...orang tuh masih layak bergelar penganti baru...so...erm...ada ler tanggungjawab dia nak settlekan (terbatuk sat)

Sok sek lepak lama gak, pekena susu cekelat ngan Cadbury (apa hal semua chocolates je...abih ler naik lagik berat badan - is this gorging sebab kecewa soal cinta...aduh!).

Then dapat the grand tour ler dari Mawi (ok tak pose macho aku snap candid?)

Kalau sesapa lum penah ke opis baru yang memang lum siap hias lagik pun, ni ler pic aku amik izin dari Mawi nak postkan kat sini.

Besar gak tempat dia....merasalah cuma meletihkan sikit nak sampai sebab dia tingkat paling atas sekali (ada yang tumbang akibat sesak nafas kang).

Takyah lif, Mawi oi...pasang je escalator...ko pun da mampu (matilah aku kena carut kang Mawi baca nih - ampun pak!!! Gurau aje!!!)

Apapun thanks for your time ler Mawi sebab leh ajak lepak tunjuk opis baru.

And thanks for that MW polo shirt. Kalau nak tau, tuh ler merchandise Mawi World Sdn Bhd.

Jangan risau....takde yang harga sejuta Ringgit nya...(bersiap sedia larikan diri sebelum Mawi campak selipar jepun kat muka aku sebab carut dia).

Scattered about, were paintings and fan gifts to Mawi, selain banyak lukisan dan ayat-ayat yang lum tergantung.

Also one wall yang da dihiasi, was the numerous platinum awards yang ditima oleh Mawi tuk penjualan album dia.

Terpegun...lama-lama...sekali tengok...banyak gak ek ko dapat, wi...

Tunggu piala-piala je masuk (bukan piala yang menang tuk bola kat kampung...yang tuh simpan kat banglo ek)

Lepak punya lepak...dah lewat da, kami rush ke Intekma Resort kat Shah Alam (aku ngan Tumirah) tuk Raya celebrations Faizal punya fan club. LEpak pun tak lama sebab kena gerak lak kemudiannya nak abihkan kerja lagi.

Tak sempat amik pic, tapi ada time nih...masa Faizal tengah makan...ada bebudak usik usik dia.

Aku tengok dia ni selamba je layan bebudak tu. Penyabar gak dak ni. Kalao time aku sumbat muka kena kacau....dah sah penyepak ajaib kuar satu.

But he was cool about it...and then tetiba, atas teguran si Juan, aku terperasan lak.

Alamak...anak sapa lak ni...comelnya. Chubby chubby gituh....mesti banyak makan."Itulah Fiebie time muda," carut Juan.

Aku tergelak besar....sempat ler snapped a couple of shots of this kid. Tapi aku amik pic ni sebab nampak cute sikit. Yang lain nampak horror.

Tak nak ler nanti Fiebie kata aku saja kutuk dia letak pic muka horrific... bagilah dia feeling comel sikit.

Ampun sapa mak bapak dak ni...anak makcik pakcik memang kiut miut. Hah...siap jadik star aku feature kat sini ok.
Selain dak tuh, there was this other kid. I found her extremely comical.

For some reason terbayangkan Sheila Rusly time younger lak. Dia cam pandai tarik perhatian orang.

Cuma dua benda je aku pelik. Satu rambut dia yang ala perm da. The other was the almost eerie fact that she appeared to speak to herself.

Ala...bebudak, aku pikir. Biasalah tuh...so just ignore jer (grandma, keep those knives and objects real far now).

Tapi yang aku suka, dia ni leh masuk ler America's Next Top Model kang besar nanti (ader ker lagik - terbayang Tyra naik kerusi rosa rambut uban masih pose maut).

Posing sakan.

Aku pesan sekali je, "dik...posing tuk abang", terus dia senyum. Dari dok kangkang, terus she offered this smile. She also struck a couple of other poses, tapi rasa over lak amik banyak-banyak pic...kang orang ingat paedophile lak.

Merasalah twisted minds.

Rushed after that....psychosis aku balik lagik...aduh. Didn't get much sleep.

So that started the most horrible day of the week for me.

Pening masaalah peribadi terbawak from the last few days, which escalated with time, aku berkejaran tuk assignments...

To make things worse, had to put up with this idiot trying to get his back on me at work (gi mampos ler ko).

Later...everything kind of looked better (I suppose things always look better after a nice meal and a cigarette and some friends who bother about you).

Tu yang masuk balik online tuk nak post kan entry ni.

Rajin ler katakanya... yeah well.

Aku akan close this entry with beberapa pics masa PC Anugerah Bintang Popular Berita Harian siang tadi. Malas amik bebanyak. Lima orang artis je yang hadir...iaitu bekas pemenang anugerah Bintang Paling Popular sebelum ni, iaitu M.Nasir )kak Marlia pun hadir - rindu lama tak jumpa), Ziana Zain, Siti Nurhaliza (walaupon sudahpun bergelar Datuk, tetap rendah diri dok lepak ngan kita sambil makan), Rosyam Nor dan Mawi.

Abang Nasir, Siti dan Ziana nyanyi, Rosyam cuma berucap. Sampai turn Mawi ingat dia nyanyi, tapi awal-awal dia da bisik kat aku yang dia demam dan selsema.

Akibat hari sebelum nya mandi ujan ketika photography cover album dia kat area nak gi Bukit Beruntung ker something like that.

Last last dia berucap gak je...get well ler wi...dahler recording malam tadi terpaksa nak cancel.
Enjoy the pics guys...

Beberapa pics nak share kan. The first is Ziana dan Rosyam tengah time nak photoshoot. Second Mawi posed shot. Bawah tuh Siti tengah makan sambil sembang mesra ngan teman wartawan, then pose for me, and last Mawi tension ke tuh kena terjah ngan Melodi?

By the way...last call sebelum end this entry.

Esok ada pengumumuan tiga puluh lagu yang berjaya ke peringkat separuh akhir Muzik Muzik untuk kategori Pop Rock, Balada dan Irama Malaysia.

Aku bagi clue je atas tiga lagu yang aku tau dapat masuk.

Of course, first, and not too unexpectedly, semua wakil pink dan orange leh berpesta!!!! Jangan lupa separuh akhir datang beramai-ramai ok sokong meka!

Then aku juga dapat tau, Mawi pun dapat dua....leh cakap tak?

Dengar Kian layak tuk kategori Balada, dan Lagu Jiwa Lagu Cinta tuk Pop Rock.

Kita tunggu dan lihat sapa kena...sapa yang dapat masuk ek.

Aku update entry ASAP.

For now..I need my beauty sleep. Judging from the face staring back at me in the mirror....lots of it too.

Patutlah sampai skang solo....aduh....

PS
Kat Zam, lupa nak wish kat blog happy birthday. Thanks for your hospitality masa birthday ko last Saturday ok. Pening ramai orang...but one of the best times I've had in a long time in the category of good, clean fun (mampu ke bab aku ni)

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Selamat pengantin baru, Dr Eveready!

Sebenarnya banyak benda aku nak posting, tapi I've been REALLY busy at work, keeping my nose to the grindstone that aku memang takde masa langsung nak update.

But that's the usual excuse. This week, something came up more. Pasal bab cintan ler. Or lack of it. Malas...not prepared to talk about my emotions swirling uncontrollably inside me.

So I dedicate this posting to someone who has prevailed after the many trials and tribulations of being with someone you love.

I was really down this whole week.

And today, aku tension gila babas. It's like the boiling point. Yerlah...kekadang ada yang disayangi yang katakan sayang kita pun...tak nampak.

And then so many other things come into play...and that's what happened to me. In the end, aku just break down.

Aku rasa aku this close to going mental today. Suddenly memacam masaalah datang membebankan pala aku. Termasuk ada ler binatang sekor nih yang memang tak sedar diri nak wat kacao hidup aku.

Arghh!! Why now when my mind is cluttered with so many other things.

Tapi after just losing it, aku geared up for the next event. Yerlah....for me, the moment you walk into a job, be professional kan.

So control jer ler emosi time tuh. Walaopon nak rasa cam nak nangis sebaldi.

The event? Dr Eveready punya. Or more politely (jangan marah aa... Dr Fazley punya)

And oh...it was more a small gathering of friends (is that more appropriate, dude?).

Yeap...to cut a long story short, malas nak go into details, Fazley....I know you'll read this, I want to wish you Selamat Pengantin Baru.

I know what you went through, and are going through, and as a friend (which I take you as now for your trust in me), I want to wish you all the best.

Bukan senang nak jumpa seseorang yang kita cintai kita, apatah lagik dapat membalas cinta kita tuh. So be strong...and celebrate you love together.

Pada mereka, kalau ada ler...yang terkejut, Dr Ahmad Fadzli Yaakob (merasalah nama sebenar) dan Azrene Soraya Abdul Aziz telah bertunang jam 12 tengahari, iikuti ngan majlis akad nikah di Masjid Saidina Abu Bakar di Bukit Damansara jam 2.30 petang semalam.

Kalau ada yang nak tengok pics meka, ni aku tunjukkan. Hope you guys wish Fazley all the best ok. And I'm sure Fazley will appreciate your support too.

The picture of the bride kat sebelah kanan tuh...cantik tak? I think she is so absolutely gorgeous. Ok ler...they make a good couple.
So kalao leh, tinggalkan ler ucapan dalam ruangan Comments kat bawah ok. Please make the effort ok, guys.

Don't ask me why it's so important, but give your best wishes and support to these two newly weds. Orang bina masjid kan benda yang bagus....so sampaikan ler doa korang pada dua mempelai kat sini ok.

Jangan komen lelebih ngan pertanyaan. I don't welcome enquiries in this case, so ask no questions, ok.

For those who want to, please refrain as I will delete them.

Aku mintak korang bagi sokongan dari segi kata-kata...tuh jer.

Tengok pic meka berdua nih, sejuk ler hati sikit. Ilang stress sikit. Kalau tak, memang da ada kes orang gila meroyan kat Buletin Utama malam tadik.

Happy sebab terbayangkan tetiba, as in the movie, Notting Hill, (matilah feeling Julia Roberts)..."some people do spend the rest of their lives together" (oklah so I'm not saying they'll spend their lives together forever, or not...paham ler..cis!)

What I meant was, that besh gila tengok ada orang bercinta jadik gak bersama sampai ke jinjang pelamin.

Aku nih bila lak... (terkedu sat sambil lap air mata terkenangkan nasib malam diri sendiri yang takde orang nak).

Lawak bodoh lepas stress katanya...but at least aku ok sikit after seeing how some people love, and amidst all problems, still come out unscathed.

Makes love almost worth it....(am feeling negative about it at the moment, so don't ask me).

Will try and stabilise my hormones tomorrow and post more tomorrow.

Tu pun kalau sempat...kalau psycho aku masih menjadi jadi, then aku rasa tunggu ler lama sikit ler lagik tuk aku ok balik, nak stabilise balik emo aku sebelum aku rajin-rajinkan diri balik to arrange my words and post my thoughts and feeling here.

Right now...very the rojak...and if I try to write how I feel or think...it's going to be very the diarrhea! Matilah....image terbentuk dalam minda terus....matilah water water...

And Fazley... all the best ok, bro!

Semoga bahagia ke anak cucu!

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