Retrospective

Sometimes, we start something for all the wrong reasons. But somehow, someway, it all starts working out, and you learn along the way... the real reasons to do something.

I made a drastic decision to leave my job. Oh yes, there were things I was not happy with, but what made me reexamine my life, was this nagging insistence to prove people wrong - which I have a tendency to do. Biasalah.... nama pun ada OCD.

After doing Akademi Fantasia 9, I was seriously disappointed that the system of reality TV is sometimes too cruel. Amir Jahari was dropped, and I was upset because in all my years of scouting talents like Hazami and Nikki, I could see Amir was one of those diamonds in the rough.

I swore to prove to people I was not wrong. I swore to prove that I was right. Somehow, part of the reason that strengthened my decision was because I saw Amir as those few kids who would never have a fair fighting chance to make it in the cruel music industry as he needed a fair lot of guidance.

Someone like Aizat for example was lucky because he has his family nearby and ultra supportive.

Amir was far from his family in Kuching and despite their support, he had no real access to the industry. So I took him on, out of pride to be right.

Along the way, he opened a lot of eyes and ears to his music, his voice, his talent. Including mine.

I mean, I believed in him, but the sheer effort he's put into it all in the last few months, memang aku kagum. Bukan senang bagi orang baru macam did nak than semua makian, cacian, herdikan dan emo trip searing manager yang merangka perjalanan kerjaya dia.

My unorthodox methods is not easy to deal with - ask him...

Tapi somewhere along the way, while sharing my experience and knowledge of the past 16 years or so, I learnt a lot from Amir too.

Aku tengok many fall by the wayside nak cipta nama dalam industry ini, and I am glad, coming up to eight months since I've taken him on, in less than six months, Amir has even put my doubting mind to rest, as OCD as I am.

I did all I could, using social media to market him, which is along my newly acquired expertise of the last six years or so. Hooked him up with the who's who of the business and even got him a gig with Sheila On 7 (of which my proudest moment is when Duta, Eross, Brian and Adam voiced their confidence that he was indeed talented and showed extremely a lot of promise for a 19 year old).

Yesterday we agreed in principle to Kasi Gegar's terms and that we would sign with the Amdans' family outfit for two years after our initial deal for just a single expired. This despite having several labels interested in Amir. I agreed on behalf of my company J Play, because I believe in family values and real belief in talent, and I see that in Kasi Gegar.

After the meeting, earlier tonight I talked to members of Malaysia's Twitter community (Twitterjaya) and told them my decision to use them for the production of Amir's music video for his debut single Tanpamu.

Satu sebab mereka da buktikan dengan dua parody videos (first dap at almost 400,000 views, and the second da dekat 500,000 views in just a week). Second sebab they're now my family. And thirdly because it all made sense for Amir to work together with the people who believed in him in the first place. Like Kasi Gegar, I have much to thank Twitterjaya for Amir's success as we only had social media to promote his material, namely Twitter.

In between that time of agreeing to terms with Kasi Gegar and talking to Twitterjaya, I reexamined the reasons why I'm still taking care of Amir, putting on hold my own career which I had planned more for.

It's no longer about proving I'm right, or someone is wrong. It's now about belief. Believing in what's meant to be, not what you WANT it to be. In so many ways, my life is now dictated by that. I no longer worry about the small things I used to, I'm more forgiving and less judgmental of people - and I'm learning to count everything in my life as a blessing.

Yes, you never stop learning. Even someone like me...